Our completely balanced
Bird Of The Year guide
Undecided who to vote for? Then read on…
Last year the general mindset seemed to be “Gee – they’re all alike, I’ll just give my Bird Of The Year vote to the first penguin I come across.” This year we have ranked voting. But who should you give your number one vote to?
That’s why we’ve written this short and completely impartial guide on who to vote for. Here are your choices…
1) Cast the Sympathy Vote. Yes, vote for Bung-Eye Gavin if you want New Zealand represented by a Facebook over-sharer. Nobody needs to know what you had for breakfast Gavin!
2) Vote for the Passive Aggressive Mother in Law. Too much eye shadow and too little tact. Need to know what this penguin thinks of your request for another helping of dessert? Don’t worry – you’ll soon find out…
3) Vote for “It’s Not A Phase, Mum”. If video stores were still a thing this penguin would be hanging around outside one, Monster Energy drink in hand, talking about how The Phantom Menace is better than Empire Strikes Back. Is this what our country deserves?
4) Vote for The Mighty Mighty Kororā. Little in size, big in charm, this penguin legitimately wants to make our country a better place. The kororā is out there every day, working for you. Always remember, kororā loves you and your family and will do everything it can to make New Zealand a better place. Yes, you can vote for any bird you like. But if you don’t vote kororā you may be aiding the greatest injustice New Zealand has ever faced.
Greater than Susie the waitress spiking the All Blacks’ drinks. Greater than when someone broke Levi Hawken’s scooter outside the dairy. Greater even than the other four leaving Carly Binding out when True Bliss reformed.
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. VOTE KORORĀ.